It has been three months since I first walked into Hello Work to file for unemployment. Time has moved faster than I expected. My next certification appointment is less than two weeks away.

The job search and complicated feelings

Although I've decided to pursue independent work rather than employment, I'm required to show evidence of job-seeking activity twice between each certification appointment in order to receive my unemployment benefits. The options include applying for jobs, attending career seminars, or having a consultation at Hello Work.

In the first month, I applied for a few remote work positions — but not because I genuinely wanted those jobs. It felt dishonest, and unfair to the employers. From the second month onwards, I switched to booking consultations at Hello Work instead. Unfortunately, several of those experiences left me feeling dismissed rather than helped. Whether that's a fair assessment or my own perception, I couldn't say — but it happened consistently enough that I eventually stopped, and began looking for online seminars to fulfil the requirement instead.

A seminar on work and caregiving

Today I attended a two-hour Zoom seminar on the topic: "What You Need to Know Now — Balancing Work and Caregiving." I live with my mother, who has been assessed at Care Level 1 under Japan's long-term care insurance system. I've been aware for some time that her strength is gradually declining, and since losing my job I've been thinking more seriously about what the future might look like. This topic felt very close to home.

What the seminar covered

The seminar covered the following key points:

• The number of people leaving employment due to caregiving responsibilities has been rising since 2017
• Between 2017 and 2022, the number of people managing both paid work and caregiving increased by 190,000
• The caregiving generation is predominantly those in their 50s and 60s, with an average caregiving period of 55 months
• Japan's "2025 Problem": all members of the baby boom generation will become elderly (over 75), making up one in five of the total population — their children now face caring for ageing parents, sometimes simultaneously with raising their own children
• Legal frameworks and public services that support working carers
• Japan's long-term care insurance system and available support organisations
• Approaches to balancing work and caregiving

Most people, the seminar noted, only begin to act once caregiving becomes urgent. I was no different — it was my mother's emergency hospitalisation with shattered knee joints that finally prompted me to apply for her care assessment, guided by a hospital counsellor.

It's worth knowing that caregiving can become relevant at any time: a parent injured in an accident, a sibling living alone who becomes ill, a family member with a serious diagnosis. In Japan, the Regional Comprehensive Support Centre (chiiki hōkatsu shien sentā) is the main local resource for caregiving advice and support.

The gap between policy and reality

The message of the seminar seemed to be: with the right systems and services in place, you can continue working even while caring for a family member. Prepare now, and you won't need to leave employment.

I understand the intent. But I also feel there is a significant gap between that ideal and the reality many people face. Combining work and caregiving requires overcoming time constraints, location constraints, skill constraints, and a willingness on the employer's side to accommodate — all at once.

The reality is that many women in their 50s and 60s — who bear the majority of caregiving responsibilities in Japan — do not have skills that translate easily to remote or flexible work. And with AI rapidly reducing the demand for many kinds of human labour, the picture grows more difficult. The idea of working full days, five days a week, and then returning home to caregiving duties with no time to rest — it simply isn't sustainable for most people.

Our reality at home

When I started reviewing our household finances as part of my ribe-katsu journey, I found myself thinking: if something happened to me, who would look after my mother? It is my husband's suggestion to have her live with us that makes our current life possible — but that life depends on my being here.

I've spoken honestly with my mother about this. I've told her that if something happened to me, she would likely need to move into a care facility. And that if her care needs increase to the point where she can no longer manage the toilet independently, we may not be able to continue living together. It may sound cold. But I believe it is kinder to be clear now than to let an unsustainable situation continue until it breaks.

A few years ago, my mother had surgery to replace both knee joints. She was discharged from hospital in good condition, having completed her rehabilitation with professional support. Within a week of coming home, she had visibly weakened. The change of environment had taken its toll.

When I suggested she attend day care and outpatient rehabilitation, she resisted — she felt she could manage at home. Knowing her well, I doubted she would keep it up without some structure and encouragement. I told her, gently but directly, that if she continued to decline and became a burden to the whole family, it would become impossible for her to stay with us. She agreed, reluctantly. It was painful to take that position. But today she has made friends there and goes happily.

The importance of preparing now

Even with relatively mild care needs, managing my mother's day-to-day wellbeing alongside work and housekeeping was genuinely demanding. Balancing work and caregiving is not a neat, theoretical problem — it is messy, emotionally complicated, and deeply personal.

Today's seminar reminded me, once again, that the time to prepare is before the crisis arrives. My efforts to build an independent income through this blog are, in part, exactly that kind of preparation. I hope that sharing this honestly is useful to someone in a similar position.